Thursday, August 25, 2016

I Can't Even....

Angelism: "I can't even! I'm exercising my freedom of speech so here goes... #shitthatbugsme"


1) The News! Is any of this crap real anymore? These people can take a story and over exaggerate it into a Hollywood blockbuster. Weeks go by and they report the same stuff over and over. I don't like to be depressed so screw you news! I'm sick of politics, I'm over shitty stories of shitty people doing shitty things, and I am very sick of shitty newscasters who look clueless about the news they are reporting! #fuckthenews

2) Phone Technology! If I hear one more person whine about having to wait for the new iPhone technology I may punch them. Get real people. It is a phone, it will provide the same functionality of your current phone, please chill the fuck out. You look like an idiot every time you camp out in front of the store for the newest model. Get a life! Care about something that matters! #technologyaddicts

3) Cable Service! I should say lack of service. For me I could care less about all the fancy packages and ridiculous fees. If you are going to charge me outrageous prices for the luxury of entertainment at home then you better offer good service too. That person who picks up the phone should speak clearly enough that I can do business with them. This never happens! #speakenglish 

4) Food Labels! The food industry is clever. Quit promoting natural ingredients when your product is packed with sugar and sodium and contains fake vitamin additives. All natural is overused and a lie! The package may look healthy but read the ingredients because marketing is misleading and full of shit. I bet you can't pronounce half of what you put in your mouth. #eatrealfood

5) Ungrateful People! The crap I witness makes me so disappointed in our society. Are you seriously bitching that your flight is late? You are on a plane! You will soon be moving at 500 miles per hour and that is amazing! Are you whining that your car is crap? Do you know how awesome it is to have a car that gets you from A-B? I'm so sorry, are you are annoyed that your job sucks? Have you forgotten that someone else might do your job just as well and for less? Are you complaining that your kid won't sleep? The alternative could be that your child never wakes up! Listen to the words you speak. The more you complain, the more all your friends and family will avoid you. #ungratefulasshole

6) Anti-Vaccinations! Did you learn nothing in school? Are you out of your fucking mind? Our forefathers spent decades trying to prevent and cure illness. They succeeded in many ways and eliminated illness from our environment. Just because we like to recycle fashion does not mean we should risk bringing back the measles, smallpox, and polio. Don't be an fucktard! Get your kids vaccinated and prevent the outbreak of disease. Be more concerned about how ill your child will get from one of these severe diseases. There is a very slim chance of a bad reaction to a vaccine. This is simple people, it's called SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY! #getvaccinated

7) Skinny Bitches! If you are a normal weight or thin quit complaining that you are fat. If you need attention and love that bad get a dog. It's hard enough listening to women complain about their bad hair days, feeling bloated and ugly, or wishing they had love in their life, but when you are skinny and you whine that you are fat, fuck you! #skinnybitch

8) Every Kid Gets a Trophy! This kills me the most. How much failure are we setting kids up for by telling them how awesome they are every second and that they can do and be anything they want? When they grow up and realize their shit does stink, society will be screwed! The level of entitlement that is happening is off the charts. This topic needs it's own blog so stay tuned because this non-realistic way of raising kids is just awful. #noteverykidsawinner

Hope ya gotta laugh out of this one. I sure did!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Shit Happens!

Angelism: "You are not above things going wrong in your life. Get over yourself & accept that shit happens & it's OK."


Life is an interesting roller-coaster of highs and lows. Most people want love, happiness, and financial stability, yet so many people get lost in the stress of life and the instant gratification of negativity. People race through days allowing themselves to get overwhelmed by little things like a flat tire, a cell phone that breaks, or a pizza delivery that runs late. This proves to me that as Americans we are spoiled. People want more stuff and exciting new adventures. The focus is on what we want and the importance of having it a certain way rather than using our energy to appreciate life and its daily struggles. As Americans we are surrounded by so much greatness and opportunity, we are raised knowing that our dreams can become reality, however it's important to keep in mind that SHIT WILL HAPPEN. The sooner we can accept that not everything will go our way, the happier life will be for all.

I’m always in awe at how stressed out a person can become over a computer that crashes, a remote control that dies, or a cell phone that breaks. I laugh when people roll their eyes in line at the grocery store as if their time is more important than the few people in front of them. Even more entertaining is when drivers flip people the bird all because they are shocked and bugged by having to share their public street space with someone they consider a horrible driver. Get over yourself!

We are all in a world experiencing life. People have the ability to dream and believe in perfection which can be our enemy. We have the need for more things to prove our success and establish our importance. Many people run around with built up negative energy, complaining about anything and everything that doesn’t go as expected because we want to control our dream for a perfect environment. We get flustered every time a little shit happens. I truly believe that real strength and intelligence comes from the people who accept that all that can happen, will happen, some good and some bad. You may be annoyed that your car broke down, but why wouldn’t it? It’s a car, it can fail. Do you think you are better than others that your vehicle should always run perfectly and someone else should have to deal with car trouble instead? Are you above shit happening to you?

I've learned that not all days are fair and some good days turn bad just by taking a call or reading an email. I've spent the last decade trying to embrace shit happening. When things start to go opposite of the way I want them to, I start creating a plan to fix it. I do vent, stress, get annoyed and wish things were different, but a full on meltdown and “poor me, I’m a victim” attitude is never my route. When I see that shit is happening I grab a butt-wipe and start cleaning it up. The other option is to sit in the shit and be miserable which may be worth it for some but not for me. Next time shit happens in your life, I hope you see the bright side of the crap and process it nicely.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Holiday Chub!

Angelism: "Holidays = sweaters & fat pants!"


The holidays are always challenging. It's my favorite time of year, yet the most difficult. I love parties, visiting with people, sharing gifts, and creating memories. Additionally, I like to enjoy all the food and drinks that come with these holiday moments. The sluggish, lethargic feeling of fatness that is the result of Halloween through New Years really pisses me off. I never seem to get through a holiday without packing on pounds and losing my cardio strength. It has me frustrated yet again.

I know many of us suffer like this during this time. It's almost like an annual free pass to just get a little fat and say, "Fuck it!" I guess I should be grateful I at least fit in my fat clothes. My rolls may be spilling over my jeans but they button so that's a plus! My boobs may be forming a tri-tit in the front center of my bra but at least it still wraps around my back and fastens. Getting dressed in yoga pants and sweaters seems OK at least during this time. The average American apparently gains about ten pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. I have not weighed myself but I'm confident that is an accurate estimate. You would think after ten months of eating right, working out and drinking minimally that a two month splurge wouldn't be so hazardous to my health. Turns out everything good is bad and the holidays remind me of this again and again.

I'm torn! In my head I am thrilled to start a New Year. I look forward to filling up my schedule with fun plans and setting goals to get organized and start fresh. The energy I have to do things right from day one of a new year is amazing. I tell myself that no matter how lazy I am during the holidays I will get focused come January 1st! However, until January 1st, I sit here feeling fat daily. All I want to do is drink a bottle of wine, eat some apple pie with ice cream, and watch movies while cuddling under a warm blanket near the fire. Despite my anger towards these eight weeks of laziness, I find comfort in the delicious homemade foods, fancy sweet beverages, yummy desserts, and endless treats. This comfort continually blinds me to the fact that every bite I take will add another dimple on my ass and another roll on my waste. In the moment while eating, I'm not thinking about how hard it will be to fit in my denim, or how many miles I will have to run to burn off this new muffin top; I'm focused solely on how many lazy cuddle days can I spend indoors, stuffing my face, while lounging in my pajamas. The reality always hits me the Monday after all the holidays are over and I have to get back in the real world and work. That day is awful!

Soon I will be saying, "Bye, bye pecan pie... see you next year." Until then all I can do is embrace my holiday chub. Maybe next year I will set a goal to start November off ten pounds under my usual weight so I can eat the foods I love and not feel this chubby after. I'm getting too old for this shit!

Happy Holidays!!! :)